A woman standing in between large rocks looking out into the desert sun

My Legacy Will Be Different

I pinch my arm
As if just by pressing I can shrink my flesh
Step on the scale
As if I’m stepping off the gangplank
Every Monday morning, into the deep.

Every week the same cycle
I wish I was smaller
I wish I was happier
I long for the day I finally get to live
In the body I was supposed to have


Longing is not living
My body is here now
She has carried me
Through love and loss
Through triumph and heartbreak
This body bears the tracks of my tears

Knit into my skin, carved into my bones
By my mother
And her mother before her
This generational millstone
This wicked inheritance
It’s time to lay this burden down.

Image via Jim Jordan Photography, Darling Issue No. 8


  1. I’ve been struggling with self-acceptance for so long. Sadly, I know so many girls have. I long to love my body just as it is today. Being ok with it, and even celebrating it right now. Nourishing and caring for my body and myself in a beneficial way, a way that is truly life-giving. It is refreshing to read writing that supports this. We are truly always growing. I am excited as I continue to grow alongside others who also strive to accept themselves as they are, all the while growing into who they are called to be. Thank you for your wholesome, comforting words.

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