The Art Of Being A Gracious Bridesmaid | Darling Magazine

She just popped the question…she’s asked you to be her bridesmaid. Maybe it’s your first time standing in the lineup or maybe it’s your 16th time. Whether you are a rookie or a veteran, the bridesmaid plays a crucial role before and during the big day. The way we act, the words we speak, the emotion we show can color the bride’s day without us realizing the impact we may have on how the bride feels during this special season of her life. Here are some tips in mastering the art of being a gracious bridesmaid.

Get Excited
From the shoes, to the dress, to your hairdo…be excited about what the bride has chosen for you to wear on her special day. Unless there are legitimate concerns that the bride might not be aware of and would want to know about such as see-through fabric or timeline concerns, personal opinions are best kept to yourself. Complaints from you will not change the bride’s taste and will only create stress and worry when she becomes painfully aware that she can’t accommodate her friend’s varying tastes.

Offer Your Opinion (When Asked)
One benefit of having a group of your closest friends participate in your wedding, is having some extra helping hands in the wedding planning and designing process when needed. If your bride asks for your opinion specifically, feel free to share your honest opinion about pros and cons of each option in her dilemma. However, if she is confident in her choice and has not solicited your support on the issue, it is best to happily comply with what she has decided without offering your own commentary.

Your Turn Will Come (Or Has Passed)
Whether you are single or married, there is often a tendency among women to compare. Weddings can be an easy opportunity to share what we did for our wedding or what we would do for our wedding. Whether you are sharing personal experience or desires that are alike or different from the current wedding celebration, this isn’t your day, it’s her day and the focus of the conversation should be on the bride and affirming the beautiful celebration she has put together. Whether you have had your turn or are awaiting your turn, your friend’s wedding is not the time to plan or reminisce about your own special day. When it’s your turn, she will be there to support you in your milestone moment.

Get Along
If you are one of several bridesmaids, chances are there are few girls you haven’t met before. Your bride has probably selected friends from different walks of life to stand beside her as she says, “I do.” While the other girls may not be your lifelong friends when the wedding is over, it is important that we do our best to get along as a group. Making an effort toward other bridesmaids that you don’t know well reduces the probability of tension and prevents the bride from feeling like she has to care-take and entertain everyone.

Be Sacrificial
“Who can take the 7am hair and makeup slot in the morning?” This type of question is not unusual for the big day and your hand should shoot right up! One way for you to bless the bride on her special day is to look for opportunities to serve and sacrifice…even if it means waking up at the crack of dawn and sitting stiff as a board until the wedding. So instead of being concerned with your own agenda and schedule, take that early appointment, help the other girls get ready while you wait, offer to carry a few of the those finishing-touch Etsy purchases to the wedding…look for opportunities to serve.

Being a bridesmaid is not only an honor, but also an opportunity. You have likely been chosen as a bridesmaid because of the special friendship that you share with the bride. Rather than being concerned about your own appearance and life plans, try viewing your role as an opportunity to show your friend how much you appreciate the person that she is and the friendship you have shared. There is no gift more precious than the gift of being the treasured friend she has always known.

Image via Style Me Pretty



  1. Hahaha! You are famous! And I’ve altcauly got a draft started for a entry just about you two, since we had quite a few fun adventures together I’ll e-mail ya when I get a chance to post it. And believe it or not I’m almost half-way through the book!! I was a bit nervous at first about having enough time (especially when I saw the size of that thing!), but I think it’s going to work out. Yay!

  2. This is PERFECT advice. I wish a couple of my bridesmaids would have had this advice before they stressed me out for my big day. But it made me that much more grateful for my bridesmaids who were so amazing during the whole process. It was a priceless gift and I cherish them even more for contributing to my special day. It’s the small things that count… but for a bride it means the world!

  3. This is fantastic advice Nicole! I couldn’t agree more with #1 and #2. Having been in a few weddings, it’s such a blessing to the bride when the bridesmaids are enthusiastic and flexible, and keep any negative opinions to themselves.

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