Snow White, prettiest girl around, gets tricked by her bad, bad stepmother into eating a poisoned apple and falls down dead. Prince Charming shows up, falls madly in love with her, kisses her, and she wakes up and marries him. Happily Ever After. If only it were that easy!

Most of us long for romance and marriage, to be known intimately, and to build a relationship of trust, loyalty, and love that lasts until death.

But how do we get there?

This hunt for Mr. Right can become all consuming. For women, the process should really start within our own selves. There are questions that need to be answered, or at least considered, before trying to find the great love of our life:

Who are you, at the deepest core?

What are you passionate about?

What values do you live your life by?

Are you pursuing what is most important to you?

Value systems are hugely important in marriage. People divorce over money, family involvement, unresolved conflict, child rearing, faith differences, and unmet expectations. All of these are value conflicts. You must know what is most important to you in life so that you can correctly judge whether or not another person values the same things you do.

Many times pursuing your passion will bring you into a group of people who have the same values at heart, and that is a great starting point for any relationship, including friendship. Not that you need to find a bunch of robots that think just like you, because that is just boring, but forming a group of friends who like to think and discuss ideas and plans that thrill and challenge you–what could be better?

What you have to offer another person is YOU–the best and the worst versions. If you are subconsciously waiting to form that around another person, you are planting a garden of disappointment and delusion for you and your future spouse.

The best way to find the right kind of man for you is to be following a purpose, a plan, a track you have set for your life; one that is challenging and exciting and fulfills you in the deepest sense. Then one day, you will look around and see that there is a fellow following his own track, and it is running parallel to yours. Take a good look at him. He’s probably a keeper.

We don’t know much about Snow White’s Prince Charming, except that he shows up at just the right time. He makes his grand entrance and things are put right. Give yours a little more time. In the end he’ll be worth the wait.


Photo Credit: Toma Evsukova