A picture of a life raft leaning on the side of a house

Dear beloved,

This is how it should be.

Here we are, just you and me. Here to do the work of mending this tear in your heart. It’s more than a tear though. It started as a crack long ago. Left untended, it has splintered in time.

Like an unhealed wound, it has festered. Now we are here to do the work to disinfect. To rest. To evaluate. To change. To move forward. To unravel. To let go. To grow.

Cry those tears, sweet girl. You deserve the space and room you need to grieve this. Grief is a gift. It is the means by which we travel toward growth and hope.

You deserve the space and room you need to grieve this.

You wonder how we got here, but you and I both know—by desiring a relationship with another person so much so that we ignored our inner voice, that inner knowledge that something wasn’t right. We got here by hoping against all signs, by choosing to ignore reality and by allowing rose-tinted lenses to distort the truth. We got here by putting our hope in the shaky grounds of another person’s soul.

The best way to love others is with open arms. The only way to love others well is by first loving yourself—with grace, dignity and forgiveness.

I challenge you to forgive and forget. Take the lessons, but leave the bitterness, unforgiveness and pain. We cannot rehearse this storyline any longer. It’s time to forgive and forget this relationship and the tragedy of this storyline. Dare I say, it is healthy and vital to do so.

We can’t stay stuck here, you and I. We must pack our bags with an audacious courage. No more looking back on what was or holding things with closed fists. After all, isn’t surrender the sweet currency from which all life flows?

Isn’t surrender the sweet currency from which all life flows?

Your heart will heal in time. I repeat: Your heart will heal. You will be OK.

This relationship, the death of it, did not kill you. You lost the expectation of who this person was in your life, but in the process, you gained yourself—your sweet, optimistic, brave, confidant and beautiful self. You stumbled, but you found your feet, and here you are, as bright as you can be.

Never be angry with yourself for the process it took to get here because it is your process. This journey could be the greatest teacher on confidence, on relationships, on letting go, on life and love that you will ever learn, if you allow it to be.

Keep hoping sweet girl. Your story is not finished yet.

Have you ever experienced the ending of a relationship—romantic, familial or platonic—that left you feeling devastated? What hope can be found in the disappointment of a relationship ending?

Image via Raisa Zart Photography

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